Happy Birthday!!

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Holy Jesus Christ Monkey Balls yeah!

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[link]

_{I hope you're as well as can be!}

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^{Smile...It confuses people.}

Hello! I haven't visited you in a while... How about a weekend joke?

"After a troublesome expedition into the chinese jungle, one of the men of the mission gets lost. Three weeks have passed and his only food has been some wild fruits and plants that he finds. Now, he is weak, tired and he has been sleeping inside caves or under trees.

One afternoon, he finds an old house between the trees, almost entirely covered by a huge vine. It's the only building in the area and the smoke that is coming out from the chimney indicates that the owner of the house is at home.

Without hesitation, he comes close to the house and knocks on the door. A very old chinese man, with a beard that almost touches the floor, comes out and greets him. Then, this old man asks the traveler: "What do you want?"

The traveler responded: "I have been lost for almost three weeks. I haven't been able to sleep or eat since then. I would thank you, eternally, if you could give me some food and a bed, only for tonight."

The chinese elder thinks for a moment and then says: "I will offer you food and I will let you sleep in my house, but with a condition: DO NOT TOUCH MY GRANDAUGHTER"

The traveler was terribly exhausted and hungry, and accepted: "I promise that I won't cause any trouble to you. Tomorrow by the early morning I will leave"

"Very well, but if I ever discover that you didn't keep your promise I will apply you the three worst Chinese tortures that the world has ever seen!"

"Don't worry, you have my word of honor" said the man as he entered the house. Besides, he was wondering what kind of woman could live with such a cranky old man in the middle of the jungle?

That night, after taking a bath, the traveler went downstairs for dinner. It was there when he saw her. The grandaughter of the chinese old man was an incredibly beautiful young woman, gorgeous just like a pearl. He couldn't remove his gaze from her, neither she could from him.

After dinner and when everybody was in their respective bedrooms, the traveler came out from his bedroom and went towards the one of the grandaughter. He spent almost all the night with her, trying to remain as silent as he could. After finishing, he returned to his room, thinking: "man, after this heavenly experience, I'm willing to endure ANY chinese torture"

The next morning, he felt a terrible weight resting on his chest, and he woke up. When he opened his eyes, he discovered a huge rock on top of him. On one of the sides of the rock, an inscription could be read: "Chinese Torture 1: A 70 kilogram rock on your chest"

"What a silly and innocent torture!" he thought as he removed the rock and threw it over the open window.
Just before the rock abandoned his fingers, he could see another inscription: "Chinese Torture 2: The rock is tied to your left testicle"

The rock was already falling and the rope was starting to stretch... Desperate, the man decided to jump after the rock as he thought: "From this height, I will certainly break one of my legs, but I won't lose my nut"

He jumped and he was already in the air and falling, well past the window when he turned around to see that in the wall was a third inscription: "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle, tied to one of the legs of the bed"

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"If mankind does not put an end to war, war will put an end to mankind" John F. Kennedy, Democrat

Your works are really awesome… keep up the good work!

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HUGO Create Graphic Contest Round 10 // Theme: SimpliCity // For more info & to participate, surf to [link]

hey this is the old reject4lyf, you used to watch me so I figured I would write you so you know where to find my new account. feel free to add me again, or not to, sorry its been so long!

Previous Option: Harry Potter Fans on DA
Current Opportunity: .Harry Potter ELITE Fans on DA.
You decide."

Hmm, not much going on her it seems, I know that the key to being a true fan is being a true FANatic...In light of the loss of a place for fellow sufferers of HPitis to meet, greet, share and learn a new club is presently being formed. We are bringing back the things most enjoyed by these members and adding our own as well...after all it's not the words of the spell is it but the ingredients! We invite all to come take a gander at the place we have created, give feedback and decide whether you are truly a HP Fanatic or just a fad follower. We plan on gathering those interested in socializing and bringing back to DA a world of Magic and Creativity, Any School is only as good as it's students we will be around as long as there is interest and participation!...Don't be a Muggle join today!"

ASK NOT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR HEADMASTER, ASK WHAT YOUR HEADMASTER CAN DO FOR YOU!

DUMBELDORE WANTS YOU!

Thanks for the fav a while back on one of my Lion King pics

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Attention Garfield-fans - check out the ~GarfieldAndFriends club!
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=FeatureShare - get featured and give features!

THE SURPRISE ^0^ IS FINISH !!!!!!

FOR YOU: [link]



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The dream of people

Hi !
Sorry to bother you, but it's important. I'm finishing the surprise for 10,000 hits, and I don't have your ID: I need an image representing you, a picture, photo, portrait, anything you'd like. Maybe you already told me, but I forgot it or I lost your description so please remind me if you can.

Please hurry because time's running out, reply as soon as possible!

I hope in your quick reply! ^^

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The dream of people

On ALL OF THEM!
Srsly, thx 4 a big ego boost!

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はじめまして! _{Artist, Writer/Poet, Photographer, traditional medium mostly, anime, sci-fi and the bizarre.}